CIA plot to destroy President Trump’s iPhone to take him off Twitter
Posted on 8th February 2017 at 10:11
It’s been reported that the CIA are plotting to destroy President Trump’s iPhone ‘for reasons of national security’, so he is no longer able to access Twitter.
It’s been reported that the CIA are plotting to destroy President Trump’s iPhone ‘for reasons of national security’, so he is no longer able to access Twitter. Sources close to the operation have told The Spark that the CIA has determined that Trump’s Twitter account is currently the ‘top security threat to the United States’, and are prepared to deploy ‘almost any measure’ to bring it down.
Another source explained that the CIA’s internal assessments had concluded that unless the President loses access to his Twitter account America will be ‘at war with at least four countries at once’ within six months. This assessment takes into account vocal criticism by Trump of a number of foreign Government’s on Twitter, including those of China, Mexico and, for reasons no one can quite understand, Australia.
Our information suggests that the CIA are considering a number of different options for restricting Trump’s Twitter access, most of which are concerned with destroying his iPhone. These include targeting the iPhone with a sniper’s bullet or minor explosion, or some form of localised cell phone jamming device.
Initially the CIA were considering hacking Trump’s iPhone, and using it to Tweet such outrageous abuse that Twitter has no option but to suspend his account. However this plan was aborted after the agency concluded that ‘no one would be able to tell the difference’ between their abusive Tweets and ‘the real President Trump’.
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