It’s been reported that the Statue of Liberty, the iconic symbol of freedom based in New York Harbour, has been shot down whilst attempting to flee Donald Trump’s America. 
It’s been reported that the Statue of Liberty, the iconic symbol of freedom based in New York Harbour, has been shot down whilst attempting to flee Donald Trump’s America. 
 
The news was formally confirmed at a press conference held by New York City Police Commissioner James O’Neill this afternoon. O’Neill explained that a number of NYPD officers based in Manhattan heard ‘suspicious sounds coming from the waterfront’ during the night of 11 February. On further inspection they discovered ‘a giant stone entity’ attempting to wade ashore. Fearing for their safety, and especially concerned that the object might be an evil refugee coming to eat the hearts of American children, the officers opened fire until the target crashed into the ground. It was only at this point that they realised they’d shot the head off the Statue of Liberty. 
 
National Park Employees, responsible for looking after the Statue, told reporters that it had become ‘increasingly distressed’ following President Trump’s inauguration on 20 January. This distress was further increased by Trump’s Executive Order banning the citizens of seven largely Muslim countries from visiting America. It appears that, fearing Trump might next decide to target large stone statues, another vulnerable minority group, the Statue of Liberty decided at this point that it would be safest to attempt to escape. It made its move under the cover of night, presumably because an enormous statue wading through the mouth of the Hudson would be pretty damn obvious. 
 
White House sources report that plans are underway to replace the Statue with something more representative of Trump’s America, such as a giant middle finger pointing at the outside world. 
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